He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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