have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
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