I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
