You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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