So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
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