It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
