You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
