me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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