I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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