Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
