Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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