He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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