I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
