Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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