Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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