Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Dignity is for republicans.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
