so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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