she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
