he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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