So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
