I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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