yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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