need another drink. this is the easiest way
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
