Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
