We named our party play list daddy issues
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Randomize
