On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
