I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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