Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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