She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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