she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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