Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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