Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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