I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
