Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
