So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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