happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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