Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
