My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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