even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
