I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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