better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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