Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
