I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
