I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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