Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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