I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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