She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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