He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize