Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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