so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
