dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
