Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
