stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
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