Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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