you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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