I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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