from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
