I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Randomize
