the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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